This was never the plan.
When I signed-up for Kundalini yoga and meditation teacher training, I signed-up for me. I never planned to teach or indeed, set-up Working Mother Wellness. I already had an award-winning blog, Working Mammy.
Yet, here I am determined to make Kundalini yoga and meditation part of every working mother’s wellness toolkit – YOURS. Working Mother Wellness is a platform to do this and for mums to support one another by sharing our wellness experiences more broadly.
You hear celebs like Russell Brand, Kate Hudson and Demi Moore swear by Kundalini yoga’s transformative power. You see rolled-up sheepskins in yoga mats donned as a trendy accessory in L.A.. Yet, Kundalini is not popular in Ireland and it’s no fad. For me, teacher training was a leap but an irresistible opportunity to immerse myself in this technology for body and mind.
After I signed-up in late 2018, I discovered I was pregnant with my second child. With apprehension, I asked my wonderful Kundalini teacher-to-be if I could still participate in the year-long training. Her response was magic. How special it would be for this new little soul to grow and develop in sacred yogic space as I did the same.
At 8 weeks pregnant, the bleeding started. It continued each day until I was 16 weeks and regularly throughout my pregnancy. The anxiety that came when entering a bathroom never ceased. After multiple trips to A&E and fear of miscarraige, a tenacious obstetrician discovered a lump on my cervix.
I was sent for an emergency colposcopy and diagnosed with precancerous cells and a cervical polyp, a (usually) benign tumour. My smear test was not due for months. Ironically, I felt so fortunate that the pregnancy aggravated the condition and it was uncovered. As it was too dangerous to disrupt the cervix during pregnancy, cervical changes were monitored through multiple colposcopies and a procedure scheduled for 10-weeks postpartum to give me time to heal after childbirth.
Then more adventures ensued… a suspected blood clot, concern over baby’s stomach measuring small, a leaking liver, a transverse baby that turned at the 11th hour, a posterior labour. Rollercoaster, while working full-time as a manager in a human rights organisation with a 3-hour daily commute and a toddler at home. Lucky for me, I had incredible support from my family, friends and colleagues ❤
My lowest point was a panic attack on the train to hospital one morning. I felt like I couldn’t face another colposcopy pregnant. Instead of being kind, I berated myself, “Get a grip. Other people experience much worse than this.” This is true. Yet, devaluing my own lived experience caused me to reject it. This manifest in a convulsion of anxiety.
Still, I loved my pregnancy. I felt so connected to my little one. I attribute this to my Kundalini yoga practice. I see it as part of my journey – to go deep into Kundalini while navigating a time in my life that confronted my physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. I’m now the luckiest mammy to two awesome wee boys, Joel (4) and baby Barra (4 weeks). To top it off, my postnatal recovery is smoother this time round!
I realise I can’t keep Kundalini yoga and meditation to myself. I owe it to share. And, share I will. I’ll leave you with this quote from fellow working mother, Alicia Keys:
“After meeting Guru Jagat and becoming introduced to the technology of Kundalini Yoga, every part of me has become awakened. I’m clearer, stronger, more conscious, and more creative than ever.”Source: Invincible Living by Guru Jagat (highly recommend!)
I’m Jen Murphy, award-winning blogger and wellness advocate for working mothers. I created Working Mother Wellness as a platform for mums to share our wellness experiences. Sign-up to build your own Working Mother Wellness toolkit. You will receive updates on Kundalini yoga practices, wellness tips, and info on upcoming workshops and programmes.